JakeHughes.com

SL2012: Training Week Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Tue, 22 May 2012 05:15:00 +0000

Good evening from Talledega, Alabama! Training Week is fully underway as over one hundred staff members have converged on a local conference center for six days of learning about our purpose as a Student Life staff, meeting our teammates, sweating in the Alabama heat, and worshipping Christ together.

I arrived in Birmingham nearly two weeks ago to begin audio engineer training. To say I wasn't overwhelmed initally would be a lie, as I am in charge of equipment worth more than I care to think about. During those two weeks, we rehearsed in the Student Life warehouse with our full setup of lighting, sound, and video.

Today, all the other staff members arrived, and I met my team of twenty-three teammates (Go Big Orange), including a college student from Kenya here to speak about his experiences with a ministry that supported him physically and spiritually. He's a great guy, and I really look forward to getting to know him better. As far as I can tell, each person on our team is awesome. This summer is going to be great.

This morning, we met at the Student Life offices in Birmingham and enjoyed a barbecue lunch together, then we loaded into our vans and trucks and headed for Talladega. After about an hour drive (during which the college student from Africa told our driver, "You drive like a Kenyan,"), we met together as a staff as the president of Student Life shared several goals for the staff. Then, we met as a team for the first time and went over team goals. After dinner, we began load-in in the worship center and finished about five hours later. I hope to have pictures tomorrow.

Another very busy day is in store tomorrow. I'm so excited to see how God will move in each of our staff members and in students' and adults' lives. Pray that we would solely focus on Christ and seek to glorify Him above everything else.

Tech Project: BSU BASIC Training 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:49:00 +0000

BASIC Training is perhaps the most tech-intensive event of the year at the Mississippi State BSU. I usually spend months in preparation for this two-day event for new freshmen and transfer students, dreaming ideas, carrying out those ideas, perfecting those ideas...only for those ideas to malfunction spectacularly twelve hours before the event begins.

This past year, I wanted to brand all graphics and videos to reflect the theme, "Survivor." Our logo was given to me in late spring:

Going off of the tropical, bright theme, I created pre/post-show announcement slides:
(Tech specs: 1280x720, created in GIMP, font: Cartonsix NC Medium, grunge background by struckdumb)

One particular slide I enjoyed creating was for the annual College Student Conference. I received the following poster from the Mississippi Baptist Convention:

I extracted the focal point of the logo, made it transparent, and placed it with my other announcement slides:

In addition to these slides, I used the logo to create a video introducing our family group leader teams. I would gladly show it to you, but the file corrupted at midnight the night before the video was to be played. I created a rough version based on my backups, but now they will not open, either. It was good, though!

Rather than playing normal pre/post-show music (Chris Tomlin, Lecrae, etc.), I opted to play tropical-sounding selections to continue branding. These included background music from Survivor Season 13 soundtrack (available on iTunes), songs from various Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks ("The Medallion Calls", "Bootstrap's Bootstraps", "He's a Pirate", and "Up is Down" - my personal favorite), and a song from Cirque du Soleli ("Forest"). (Click the links to listen to them through Spotify.)

I'm beginning the process of planning for this year's BASIC Training. Do you have any ideas how I could better carry out a theme?

New category!

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:10:00 +0000

Since I do nothing else with my time, I'm going to start displaying photos of select projects I'm working on with BSU, Pinelake, and other places. Don't expect much.

Oh, and I'll use the label "tech project" for your easy navigation. Look for some of my favorite previous projects soon!

Ways My Job Interview Could Have Gone Horribly Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 01:02:00 +0000

I recently participated in a job interview for a summer opportunity. I got the job (which I will certainly blog about soon), but the night before the interview, Cody and I began brainstorming reasons the interview could go tragically awry. Thankfully, none of these disasters happened, but if you're soon interviewing for a job, take extra measures to ensure that these do not occur.

Cyanide-laden candy – In an effort to gauge willpower and resistance to temptation, the interviewers could have placed a dish of cyanide-laden candy in front of me. If I partook of the confections, then I would surely die, making me a poor match for the position.
Loss of tongular control – While explaining to the interviewers my qualifications to fill the position, I would slowly become incomprehensible. If I could not talk, I would be a poor match for the position. (Also, tongular is apparently not a word. Consider the word coined.)
Wet pants – Bladder control problems would render me unfit for the position.
Uncontrollable gas – Flatulence problems would not necessarily disqualify me from the position, but would look poorly on my gastrointestinal prowess. Thus, I did not dine on cuisine from Captain D's the night prior to the interview.
Being arrested by the Alaska State Troopers – We discussed the implications of me being arrested during the interview but decided it would be far more interesting if I were arrested by the Alaska State Troopers for some wildlife offense, like killing a bear with my hands without a license. Improper killing methods are frowned upon in the workplace.
Smoking – Considering that this interview was with a Christian organization held in a Christian campus organization building, smoking would be discouraged. If I pulled out a pack of Newport Menthol Golds and inquired of my interviewers if they had a light, chances are I would not receive the position. (I think smoking is a filthy habit, by the way. There are cooler ways to die, like spontaneous combustion.)
Divulging incredibly personal information – If my responses to the question, "What qualifies you to be in this position?" included information about the circumstances surrounding my birth (I was a premie!), how I cry when I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, my slight bout of scoliosis, or my incredible amounts of foot hair, I would likely not be awarded a job with this organization.
Annoying magic tricks – If my response to "What are your hobbies?" somehow involved a playing card behind the ear of my interviewer, I might not get the job.
Surprise interviewers – "Instead of performing a normal interview, we are going to step aside and let Louie Giglio/Madonna/Tony La Russa/Moses/Judge Judy/Hillary Clinton/Vladimir Putin interview you."
Live stream of interview on website – "To help keep us all accountable, we are going to place a live feed of this interview on our website. Our statistics show that over 7,000 people are currently watching. We will have a 'People's Choice' portion of the interview in which viewers will interactively vote on each response you provide to our questions."
Series of tasks – "We're tired of normal sit-down interviews. Since we're a cutting edge Christian organization, we're going to take you behind the building where an obstacle course is located. You have three minutes to complete it. Your time starts now."
Bad board games – If I was required to play board games with the interviewers, I might not get the job. I'm particularly unskilled at Twister.

Font Failure: James' Biochemistry Class

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:41:00 +0000

Today's Comic Sans snafu comes from my friend James' biochemistry class. Why would you use a childish, comic book font to take attendance? Well, it's quite obvious: the professor desires to go back to the simpler things in life – being eight years old, watching Looney Tunes, and reading comic books. The rigor and stress of being immersed in the world of academia has finally caught up to this teacher, and this is a subtle cry for help.

If you're the teacher that created this tear-jerking PowerPoint presentation, please know that there is help! You're among friends in a no-judgment zone.

Font Failure: WCBI

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:34:00 +0000

We have our first offender of 2012! This dubious distinction is awarded to WCBI for using Comic Sans in their Birthday Bash suite of graphics.

Though, yes, Comic Sans could be used for childish applications, an 82-year-old woman was featured in this segment. You better believe that she wasn't feeling youthful and comical this morning.

White Flag

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:09:00 +0000

We raise our white flag
We surrender all to You
All to You
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won

– "White Flag" by Chris Tomlin

This song symbolizes everything that has happened in my life over the past week at Passion 2012. While it would likely take a week of writing to adequately describe what's happened, God has moved in me like never before.

I pray this becomes the new normal in my life.

New Year's Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 21:52:00 +0000

In no particular order:

Document every inappropriate usage of the fonts Comic Sans and Papyrus. Offenders will be blogged about and virtually chastised on this very blog. For more information on this pressing issue of our era, visit comicsanscriminal.com, bancomicsans.com, and the Ban Papyrus Facebook group.
Learn more about my identity in Christ.
Be in shape. No more pudge.
Read the entire Bible in a year's time, using the L3 Journal.
Finally pass Differential Equations.
Watch every King of the Hill episode in four months' time. (All 259 episodes. Thank you, Netflix. That averages to 16 episodes a week, or nearly six hours a week.)

Top Quotes of Fall Semester 2011, as recorded by Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 06:00:00 +0000

It's time for the biannual post that you know you love!

August 19: "Why does it [the Payless Shoe Source commercial] say, 'I am a pale oncologist'?" –James Lang
August 20: [referring to the "5 Styles of Shrimp" promotion at Ryan's Steakhouse] "Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea." –Bryan Snow
August 23: "Don't record me during the music. I don't want to end up in a video like Tony Merida." –Chip Henderson, when speaking at the BSU
September 11: "My booger-rocket ratio has been up lately. I mean, I thought NASA was shutting down!: –Bryan Snow
October 6: "Have you ever held your toothbrush still and instead moved your head to brush your teeth?" –Bryan Snow
November 13: "I wish I could find a girl who loves me like she loves Pinterest!" –Bryan Snow

On a related note, here are the top King of the Hill quotes from episodes aired this semester:

"Did you mean for all those words to come out that way or did they just fall out randomly?" –Hank Hill
"Javalelujah" –A name for a Christian coffee shop
"All those VWs in the parking lot I assumed it was a Unitarian church." –Hank Hill

And one quote from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

"If the good Lord had intended for us to walk, He wouldn't have invented roller skates." –Willy Wonka

2011 in Review: Hour by Hour

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:01:00 +0000

Now that my fifth semester of college is completed, I have a lot of free time on my hands. I had a novel idea to review my year, and being the logical person that I am, I decided to count the hours I spent doing certain activities.

College

Driving to and from Starkville (12.5 times at 5.5 hours round trip): 68.75 hours (2.86 days)
Commuting to and from campus (150 days at 30 minutes): 75 hours (3.13 days)
Spring classes (14.2 weeks at 17.667 hours plus 5 hours for exams): 255.87 hours (10.66 days)
Fall classes (14.4 weeks at 15 hours plus 5 hours for exams): 221 hours (9.21 days)
Football games: 50 hours
Tents for Tickets (the dumbest idea ever): 8 hours
Choir special events (concerts, El Capitan, travelling): 30.5 hours

Total: 709.12 hours (29.55 days)

BSU

Priority (26 times at 4 hours [includes prep time]): 104 hours (4.33 days)
Noonday (29 times at 1.75 hours [includes prep time]): 50.75 hours (2.11 days)
BASIC Training (including prep, filming, video editing): 45 hours
Fall Retreat (including prep, setup): 30 hours
Other tech activities: 13 hours
New Orleans Mission Project: 50 hours
Non-tech activities (Barn Party, End-of-year Party, Christmas Party): 8 hours

Total: 300.75 hours (12.53 days)

Pinelake

Sunday services (non-tech): (10 times at 2 hours): 20 hours
Renewal (non-tech): (15 times at 2 hours): 30 hours
Sunday services (tech): (14 times at 6.5 hours): 91 hours (3.79 days)
Renewal (tech): (13 times at 4 hours): 52 (2.16 days)
Other events (Shine, tech meetings, Christmas party): 10 hours

Total: 203 hours (8.46 days)

Bellevue (non-work)

Sunday services: (14 times at 2 hours): 28 hours
Tech services: (3 times at 4 hours): 12 hours
Starlight Spectacular: 8 hours

Total: 48 hours (2 days)

MSU Praise

Various events (Monday Night Praise, Downpour, auditions): 18 hours
The Spirit of Christmas (rehearsals, preparation included): 14 hours

Total: 32 hours (1.33 days)

Summer Activities

Working with the Bellevue Baptist Church Music Ministry (including commuting) (8.7 weeks at 43.3 hours): 376.71 hours (15.70 days)
Volunteering with the National Weather Service: 11.25 hours
Fun activities (Weddings, vacations, etc.): 285 hours (11.88 days)

Total: 672.96 hours (28.04 days)

For comparison's sake, I assume 8 hours of sleep per night, 3 hours of watching TV a day, 2.25 hours of eating a day, and 2 hours on the computer a day.

Here's the graph of my year:

Of course, this is hardly meant to be scientific. (This is what an only child does to entertain himself.) But, it is interesting to see where 2011 went.

Top Quotes of Spring Semester 2011, as recorded by Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:56:00 +0000

It's that time of year again! Here's are my top picks of quotes, as recorded by my Twitter account.

January 21: "I want to be a notary public. I really want a stamp with my name on it. It's so legit." –James Lang
February 15: "If you're going to wear your hoochie mama skirt, you can wear your hoochie mama shoes." –DeAundrae Clayton
March 23: "Those look like nun shorts compared to what the other people wear." –Bryan Snow
April 15: "It's not every day that you get to walk around with your pants soaking wet and it's not your fault." –James Lang, during a rainy day
April 20: [A tweet that I retweeted] "Ben Leiker is not commenting on the deadly weather at this time. (Hashtag: Please don't let me die at Grumpy's BBQ.) –Ben Leiker
May 1: "Let the Messiah touch your mess." –A church sign in Baldwin County, Alabama

One Loaded Word

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 02:17:00 +0000

Purpose.

Boy, is that a loaded word. It's a word that I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about. It's a word that the vast majority of my peers struggle to discern. It's a word that churches spend thousands of dollars attempting to define and deploy to their congregations. It's a word, that with two changed vowels, would be a fun-loving aquatic mammal.

"So, Jake, why do you bring this up?" you ask. I shall anti-climatically tell you. I met with the director of the National Weather Service in Memphis, Jim, today to discuss volunteer opportunities. While we certainly talked about volunteering, we spoke at length about my strengths and weaknesses and about my plans after college (especially undergraduate studies). Of particular interest were my skills in math (which are quite poor and which I told Jim about), and he told me (something to the effect of), "God has given you gifts that you cannot realize fully yet. You are starting to understand them in college now to focus your studies, but some of these gifts you won't realize for quite some time. They may not be like everyone else's, but that's what makes you you."

(Pretty deep for a meeting to discuss helping with a weather camp, huh?)

I seem to have lost my understanding of this loaded word – purpose – sometime ago. While I have spent a great deal of time thinking about my career, I have spent miniscule amounts of time to think of my purpose. I've almost completely ignored this word.

College (and life in general) has a way of zapping every ounce of reflectiveness that I have. I sit and listen to friends and other acquaintances who share what God has been teaching them lately. However, I rarely slow down enough to hear God's voice.

What is God telling me about this summer? Before the summer even began, several plans I had made had changed and left me wondering what my purpose for these three months would be. In a spirit of honesty, even now, I feel like I have very little impact on God's kingdom by answering phones. Don't get me wrong; I'm very happy to be working at my church with people that love God and do everything they can to spread the message of God's love to the masses.

But, I don't feel like I belong with them. I feel like I'm taking up space, that I'm not needed. I was reminded of that thought both directly and indirectly today. I was reminded that some people still perceive me as a kid who doesn't know anything. (My generation doesn't do me any favors in this category, either.) This act wounded me as a person who thrives on other people's affirmation. They did what I've done so many times – made a first impression of me without taking the time to learn my name.

By thinking about this word in short-term contexts as well as long-term options, I've learned several things:

No person or institution deserves my whole trust but God. While many people are well-meaning and do not intend to violate this trust, mankind is imperfect.
I should never make judgments based on my first impression of someone without getting to know them. (Now, I should never make judgments of any kind, but refer to the last point.)
One simple remark can cut very deep wounds without you realizing anything happened.

So, what is my purpose? To love Christ with everything I have. If I do that, everything else will work itself out.

(I apologize if this post does not have structure, is rambling, or is just plain stupid. I just felt like typing without a 5-point plan. Peace and blessings.)

Gulf Shores 2011, Days 3-4

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Thu, 05 May 2011 02:21:00 +0000

As I watch Madea Goes to Jail in our condo, I have decided to not blog about our final two full days in Gulf Shores. Instead, I encourage you to check out James' new blog for minute-by-minute coverage of the past two days' action. A new blog will come tomorrow as we have a six hour drive in which we will undoubtedly have something to share with the world.

James' blog: http://jimmyalang.tumblr.com

Nuclear Power Plant, Dairy Queen, Flat Hair, and Sweeney Todd: Gulf Shores 2011, Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Tue, 03 May 2011 21:02:00 +0000

Monday, our first full day at the beach, was quite delightful. The weather was beautiful – low to mid 80s with mostly sunny skies. Here are some highlights:

Our first item on the agenda for the day was visiting the beach. Strangely, some of us awoke at 7 am and ventured out to the shore to search for shells. Later, we came back and ate breakfast and then returned to the beach. I sat under an umbrella in a chair while everyone else built sand castles. I occasionally supervised the efforts to build the Kingdom of Gill Theme Park, complete with nuclear power plant, drainage system, welcome center and Kids Korner (an octopus-shaped building), a deep lake, and a levee to protect the land of merriment.
We all returned to the condo to dine for lunch, then James, Andrew, and Nick returned to the beach where they frolicked in the shark-infested, algae-covered, salt-infused ocean water. Cody and I, however, decided to drive around the community and experience the finest in culinary selections. This voyage landed us at Dairy Queen in Orange Beach where we both obtained vanilla ice cream cones dipped in chocolate. Though they were quite delectable, they melted in a grand total of 14 seconds upon receipt. Luckily, we had the forethought to sit outside while partaking of this dairy delight. Later, we ventured to a less-than-ideal Rite Aid where we purchased drinks, then we drove around the area. I took Cody to the campus of Christian Life Church, a church we visited last year during Fall Break that created quite a memorable experience for us. (I won't go into that here.) Then, we drove throughout Gulf Shores and looked at several expensive condos, all while I digressed about how storm surge from a potential hurricane would wipe them all out.
Another headline of the day was my hair escapades. In previous trips to Gulf
A sample hairstyle of mine at the beach.
Shores, a common joke is my hair, which has no defense against the salty air and gusty winds. This trip, however, I decided to prepare for my cranial indiscretions – I purchased Axe hair styling cream before leaving. I decided to try it on Monday. With Andrew's help, I styled my hair into a semi-attractive style. Within ten minutes, however, it looked as if I had had a hair transplant performed by Donald Trump.
After we all arrived back at the condo, we decided to prepare for supper, which consisted of spaghetti and meatballs, English peas, and bread prepared by James and Nick. Andrew, Cody, and I instead watched episodes of All Worked Up on TruTV, a show that follows repossession personnel, process servers, and meter maids. It was quite delightful.
After dinner, we watched Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Cody had never seen the movie that portrays a revengeful barber with beautiful music by Steven Sondheim, so we decided to enlighten him. After the particularly bloody final scene, Cody said, "Well, how 'bout that!"

Today, we went to beach, and we are planning on a night about town. It has begun raining here, but the weather should be nice again tomorrow.

Also, for another viewpoint of our holiday, check out James' newly-created Tumblr blog.

Osama bin Laden, Mess-Touching, and the Royal Couple: Gulf Shores 2011, Day 0

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Mon, 02 May 2011 14:10:00 +0000

After four painful months of tests, papers, projects, and eating at Hardee's, the spring semester of my sophomore year has ceased. As is the custom, five of us have headed to Gulf Shores, Alabama, for a few days of rest, relaxation, and lunacy. We arrived last night after an eventful drive from Starkville. Here are some highlights from our journey:

We stopped at a convenience store in Meridian, Mississippi. This sign heralded us as we entered the establishment:
Yes, my friend, this Calibri-fonted notice with eight exclamation points is not joking around. Three punctuation errors isn't bad for two sentences!
After entering Alabama, we saw a church sign that said: "The key to heaven was hung on a nail." Amen, brother.
I am driving my mother's Toyota Highlander to give us more space for the long trip. It has a large fuel tank, but it is not unlimited, as I found out. A few miles outside of Citronelle, Alabama, my low fuel warning indicator illuminated on my dashboard. So, I asked Matilda, my Garmin GPS, where the nearest petrol station was located. After some consternation, she informed me that it was ten miles off our route in Hickville, Alabama. No, that's not the actual name, but I propose a petition to rename the municipality. By the grace of God, we were able to find a Chevron gas station as we were coasting on fumes, and we were afforded many opportunities to experience, as Andrew so kindly pointed out, "the local natives."

Before we arrived at the gas station, we nearly committed involuntary dogslaughter when two children under the age of ten were romping with their canine companion approximately ten inches from the side of the highway that had a 55 mile-per-hour speed limit. I'm pretty sure they were barefooted.
In close proximity to my gas pump was a family of four or so. They were in a truck that was towing a Gator-type off-road vehicle. The father was shirtless, his son was shirtless, and his baby son was running around the gas station in his Underoos. I can't remember if the father and older son were wearing shoes, but the toddler certainly was not. The father had entered the convenience store to acquire a 12-pack of Bud Light. I strongly desired to inquire if they possessed any chewing tobacco, but I was slightly fearful for my life.
Finally, we saw a boy standing on the side of the road, shoeless, with a gaping mouth as we drove past. I guess he had never seen a Tennessee license plate before.

After we turned off of I-10 outside of Mobile, Alabama, we were greeted with a church sign that proclaimed, "LET THE MESSIAH TOUCH YOUR MESS." No comment.
Andrew, James, and I went to Wal-Mart to stock up on provisions for our vacation. As we were being checked out at the Speedy Checkout (though we had more than twenty items), we were informed that Osama bin Laden had expired. We raced back to the condo to observe Obama's speech to the nation. As I mentioned on Twitter, his teleprompter operator should be unemployed this morning.
Lastly, a furniture store placard in Foley, Alabama: "KATE AND WILLIAM SHOP HERE."

Today, we are planning to spend a gaggle of time outside, as the forecast calls for temperatures in the mid 80s and mostly sunny skies. Tomorrow is scheduled to be foul, meaning our shopping day will be tomorrow. I am grateful for our little paradise, the Redneck Riviera - Gulf Shores, Alabama.

Power Outages, Cold Stone Creamery, and Piggly Wiggly: A Timeline of Yesterday's Events

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 01:59:00 +0000

What a difference 24 hours makes. Yesterday, tornadic storms moved through the South, resulting in widespread damage and power outages throughout the region, including in Starkville, MS. My timeline from yesterday pales in comparison to those in other areas of the South, but I figure it's interesting nonetheless. The times are as accurate as possible (by reviewing tweets and cell phone logs).

11:05 am (Wednesday, 4/27/11): A "Particularly Dangerous Situation" Tornado Watch is issued for our area until 7:00 pm. I decide to delay my travel home to Memphis (originally scheduled for the afternoon) to Thursday because of the severe weather potential.
12:00 pm: I take my Calculus III exam. Before starting the exam, our professor informs us, "If there's a tornado, this is the safe room of the building. Everyone is going to come down here. I'll stand at the door and tell them to be quiet as they seek shelter in here."
1:51 pm: I finish my exam and return to my apartment. I fire up all my weather software and turn on a live stream of ABC 33/40 out of Birmingham. A few minutes into the stream, they show a live shot of a large tornado in Cullman, AL. I determine that this situation is much worse than I had thought.
3:15 pm: I start watching a intensifying storm cell near Kosciusko, MS on the radar. It isn't severe at this time, but, given the setup of the day, I begin becoming concerned.
3:26 pm: A Severe Thunderstorm Warning is issued for this storm. It is strengthening quickly.
3:41 pm: A Tornado Warning is issued for this cell, but it doesn't include Starkville at this point. My concern increases.
3:56 pm: The power at our apartment (and all of Starkville, Columbus, and West Point) goes out. Apparently, a transmission line is damaged near Macon, MS, and every power customer within a 60-mile radius loses power. I run downstairs and, with Cody's help, begin cleaning out the closet under our staircase in case we have to seek shelter. During these events, I normally don't stress too much about severe weather, but since the environment is so volatile for tornadoes today, I immediately become worried.
4:11 pm: I start trying to call my mother to let her know about the power outage and our impending danger. I don't get through until 4:29 pm for the reasons listed below.
4:17 pm: I try calling James, who is en route to the apartment. He is stuck in traffic because every stoplight is out in town, and it is rush hour. He wants to be at the apartment in case anything happens. The cell phone towers are still functional for internet, but voice and text messages are intermittent. At this point, I am becoming very anxious. Everything is setting up for a catastrophe in Starkville: many cars on the roads, power outage (so no one can turn on the TV or their computers, and no sirens), text messages delayed (so any warning sent out by Mississippi State would be woefully late), with a potentially tornadic supercell heading straight for Starkville at 60 miles per hour. Based on my calculations, the storm will be in Starkville by 4:50 pm.
4:30 pm: I start looking at the clock, waiting for the Tornado Warning to be issued. Based on previous experiences, I know it takes about ten minutes for the Maroon Alert message (MSU's emergency notification system) to arrive after the issuance of a warning. The majority of people in Starkville depend on two methods for severe weather notifications: weather sirens and Maroon Alert text messages. Both systems are either down or seriously delayed. The next six minutes tick by slowly.
4:36 pm: The Tornado Warning is finally issued for Starkville. According to the warning, the potential tornado will arrive at 4:45 pm – nine minutes. I begin panicking silently.
4:39 pm: A Maroon Alert is sent out via text message (six minutes before the apparent tornado will arrive). On campus, police cars begin sounding their sirens because the weather sirens do not have backup power. However, at my apartment a mile away from campus in Starkville, all is silent outside.
4:40 pm: Several of our neighbors come to our apartment. Also, a older man and his teenage grandson are standing outside on one of the apartment's porches. The man is a retired professor in the College of Business at MSU. Also, the grandson is interested in meteorology – perfect place for him to be, I guess. I never hear the full story, but apparently they either had car trouble or ran out of gas while in traffic. We see them standing outside and invite them into our apartment which is already full with about ten people. During this time, we wait for something to happen outside. We quickly look outside to see the clouds, but only see a little amount of rotation. We're still on edge (or, at least, I am).
5:00 pm: We determine that the danger has passed by the arrival of sunshine in town. The man and his grandson are picked up by family members. Around this time, we begin thinking about dinner. Cody and Amanda, our neighbor, decide to use our grill and cook everything we have in the freezer, including burgers, shrimp, chicken, and squash. In context, this is the approximate time that the large tornado strikes Tuscaloosa, AL.
5:10 pm: James is finally able to call me back. He had been able to get to our friend DeAundrae's apartment. They both eventually come to our apartment.
5:57 pm: Strange Brew Coffeehouse's (SB) Twitter feed retweets a report that it could take TVA up to three days to restore power.
6:33 pm: SB posts a tweet that their sister store, Cold Stone Creamery, is giving away every frozen product that they possess, including ice cream, cakes, cupcakes, and more, because it is beginning to melt and they won't be able to save it. I read the tweet about fifteen minutes later to our crowd. It takes about three seconds for it to process through everyone's minds, and then everyone simultaneously leaps and runs to the cars. Bryan leaves without wearing shoes. I drive like my hair is on fire to Cold Stone, and we jump in line. There are at least 100 people in front of us. I manage to snap a picture while we are waiting. After receiving our ice cream from the extremely friendly employees, we go back to the apartment, where Cody and Amanda stand bewildered at our sudden evacuation of the apartment. We then eat dinner.
8:00 pm: Around 8 pm, four of us decide to drive around Starkville to see what is going on. We go on campus where just about everything is dark. I had read some tweets that MSU was trying to bring a backup power source online, but it is having issues. In Starkville, everything is dark, except for Kroger, Lowes, and Piggly Wiggly, which is incredibly crowded. There are no parking spots in their normally empty parking lot. When we get back, several of the girls in our apartment want to stargaze, since there are no lights to obscure the view of the sky. Fearing for their safety, some guys begrudgingly go with them.
9:00 pm: We start listening to 94.1 WZBQ, a radio station out of Tuscaloosa, on my battery-powered weather radio. Virtually every other radio station in the area is off the air. The DJ, named D-Lo, is fielding calls from anyone who has or seeks information. Though he is focused on Tuscaloosa, he receives calls from Columbus, Starkville, and Tupelo. He doesn't mind at all and soon realizes that this station is the only one transmitting in the entire power-deprived region. D-Lo certainly deserves an award of some type. He is probably responsible for saving many lives in the aftermath of the tragedy. While listening, I decide to drain my laptop battery in an attempt to charge my quickly-dying phone.
9:15 pm: A Maroon Alert is sent that informs everyone that the 8 am and noon exams are cancelled tomorrow. Students can either choose to keep the grade they have or try to take the exam at a later date by working with their instructor.
11:50 pm: I decide to go to bed. However, I am unable to sleep for quite sometime, so I take the weather radio with me and plug in my headphones to continue listening to 94.1. I think I finally fall asleep around 12:15 am.
12:28 am (Thursday, 4/28/11): Power is restored to Starkville.
12:39 am: I wake up and realize the power is back on. After posting this fact on Twitter and Facebook (eleven minutes after everyone else did...haha), I fall asleep again.

My little story is pathetic compared to countless others in the region tonight. However, my story could have been significantly worse. There is no rhyme or reason why Starkville didn't get hit by a tornado, just as there is no reason why Tuscaloosa, Smithville, and other places did. My prayers are with everyone in the affected regions, but I specifically pray that people turn to God during this very difficult time.

Spring Break, Free Hugs, Wimples, Broiled Eels, and Santa

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 22:23:00 +0000

Note: I began writing this post over a month ago, and then I forgot about it. Because I seemed to be going in a right direction, I decided to finish it today in an attempt to further procrastinate studying for my final exams.

It's Spring Break 2011. Thank goodness. After two months of tests, coldness, routines, and intense stress, we get nine whole days to forget everything we've learned. Because I have already deleted the useless knowledge from Physics II and Calculus III, and I have no pressing schoolwork to complete during these blissful days, I feel it necessary to blog. Also, my good (and new) friend Andrew is one of the three people that read this blog, and he really wants to read something new.

First of all, like a good blogger, I will discuss what I will do during Spring Break: absolutely nothing. I am not visiting family or tropical locales; I am not going on a mission trip; I am not working. In fact, I don't even think I will wear clothes for half the week (when my parents are away from the house, that is).

So, that's the only interesting subject that I can concoct in my boring head. So, I googled "blog topics" and found an article entitled "100 Blog Topics I Hope YOU Write." Since the author yelled at me, I figure I am required to write about it. Instead of writing an entire blog on one topic, I will write a sentence or two on some of my favorite suggested topics. Plus, the picture of the author further persuaded me to use his list.

"Ways to Embrace My Audience" I can embrace my audience by hugging each person. I am a firm believer in free hugs. However, the readers of this blog are the only people eligible to receive a free hug from me. Just so I know you read this, you must precede your hug with the word "borborygmus". Otherwise, you will be charged $5.
"My Mother is on Facebook" She is.
"Ten Guilty Pleasures" #1-9: Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes. #10: Miss Congeniality.
"Handling Critics" In the words of my favorite Memphis, TN politician, Willie W. Herenton, I "shake off the haytas." A person will criticize me only once.

Though the poster had 100 topics, the four topics above were the only good ones. However, I found another article of his that has Mad Libs-type blog suggestions. Of course I had to use these. However, I decided to make it interesting and use words from one of the most useless websites on the internet to fill in the blanks.

"How ___ is like _____." My version: "How blooping is like a wimple." First, let's define these words. Blooping is a derivative of the transitive verb bloop, as in blooper, which means "an embarrassing public blunder." Wimple can either mean "a head covering worn by a nun several hundred years ago" or "a curve or bend." Now, how do these two words form a simile? It's obvious! If your nose is wimpling, you could potentially injure those around you by poking them in the eye. That would be an embarrassing social faux pas.
"Your first steps into ______." My version: "Your first steps into spitchcock." According to Webster's 1828 Dictionary, spitchcock is "an eel split and broiled." Now, most Americans do not eat broiled split eel, so here are some steps for preparing and eating it, courtesy of Trifood.com:

Remove the bones, intestines, and head prior to cooking. (Side note: who knew that eels had bones?)
Marinate in a sweet and tangy sauce for the best flavor.
For those who are health-conscious (obviously, non-Americans, and especially, non-Mississippians), eel is high in protein, calcium, and vitamins A and E.
This website does provide a thoughtful reminder: "Fact: Eel have high content in protein and fat so it can take a long time to fully digest this fish." Meaning: don't eat it at midnight, Bryan Snow.

"How do I _______?" My version: "How do I piffle?"Webster's 1913 Dictionary tells us that piffle is a verb that means "to be sequeamish [sic] or delicate." What makes me squeamish?

Wasps, bees, and other stinging insects
Thunderstorms, tornadoes, and other severe weather (My fear of this type of weather makes me very interested in it.)
Becoming obese
Commitment
Misspelled lyrics and other tech errors during worship services, such as "Jesus is alice" and "Santa has no authority here." (Neither of those blunders occurred under my direction.)

"If you find yourself stuck, try _____." My version: "If you find yourself stuck, try agglomeration." Agglomeration means "the act of winding into a ball." An example: On his blog, Jon Acuff once wrote about the awkward conversation that sometimes happens when someone shares with you some difficulty in their lives. He discussed the problem with saying, "I'll pray for you," and then not following through. He suggested some other actions to take, including saying the phrase "Razzle Dazzle" or throwing candy at them. Agglomeration would also work well in this case. When they begin unloading on you, without mention or facial expression, lay on the ground and curl up. Winding into a ball in this instance sure would look stupid, but you would escape this awkward situation and thus avoid lying to the person.

Picture of the Day: Sign Malfunctions

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 15:18:00 +0000

I love business marquee malfunctions. From "Elf Storage," "Sprts Auhority," and "Hell," I revel in the discovery of these hidden gems. So, one can identify with my sheer excitement when I discovered TWO wonderful mistakes in West Point, MS this past weekend.

Picture of the Day: Molly

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 21:10:00 +0000

This is my delightful Dachshund, Molly Wally Doodle, II, or as we call her, Molly, Doodle Girl, Doodle Girly Whirly, Princess, Her Majesty, or Sister (my father thinks of her as my sibling). She is my one and only pet, and I love her to pieces.

She was born in October 1999 and arrived to our family shortly after the turn of the millennium. She is aging quite nicely with barely a noticeable change in behavior. The only thing I perceive as aging in her is that she no longer urinates on the floor when guests enter our home.

She has always been extremely hyper, sans her sleeping hours (which amount to about twenty a day). One of her favorite pastimes is to run laps around our coffee table. Molly loves cheese and can hear a wrapper of it being opened from a mile away. She also likes to eat her poo (or as we like to call it, "recycle").

Picture of the Day: Cody

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 13:47:00 +0000

This is Cody. He is my friend. Specifically, he is one of my roommates. The only reason I decided to room with him is because of his beard and his red locks.

Cody is from a small town near Starkville. He works at an auto parts store that his grandparents own. He drives a Toyota Camry. He is majoring in some kind of education. He wears glasses. He likes Reese's Puffs cereal.

Cody is probably the most devout Christian I know. His concern for everyone he meets is unprecedented. He is very passionate about being mentored and mentoring others. He deeply cares for our campus and desires to see revival at MSU. He currently leads a Bible study group for freshmen and is helping potential leaders for next year to be properly prepared for all the new little freshmen next semester.

I'm very thankful for Cody, even when he cooks his disgusting sausage, egg, and cheese frozen breakfast sandwiches.

Picture of the Day: Sound Board

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 21:23:00 +0000

Today's picture is of the sound board at the BSU where I am the tech team leader. This board, unlike most of our equipment, works very well (when people don't unplug anything). I use this board at least twice a week, including today at Noonday.

New posts coming!

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 15:47:00 +0000

Hello fellow interneters! Great news for you today!

Thanks to my new cell phone, I will be able to post more frequently, particularly in the form of pictures. For example, here is a picture of a napkin dispenser! Look for the new posts soon!

Snow Day, Hardee's, "I Used to be Fat," and Ethel Waters

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:57:00 +0000

Hello thou faithful reader! In keeping with my three-month-cycle of blogging, I have decided to enlighten the Interwebz with the latest nugget of my cerebrum.

The view outside my window. I was too warm to
actually walk outside for a good picture.

Thanks to a wonderful cold front that brought over 23" of snow and temperatures below -20°F to parts of Oklahoma and Arkansas, beautiful Starkville received about four inches of the powdery goodness last night. Though MSU initially was very obstinate in announcing closure of the university, they did close, which postponed my terrible Physics II test on gravitational and electrical fields. Apparently, they are theoretical, but we still have to have a test on it. I have many unproven ideas in my head; why don't I contribute them to academia and teach them as fact? (If these fields aren't theoretical, please don't kill me. I don't know anything about physics. Plus, I needed something slightly humorous to tie the post together.)

Instead of attending class, Cody and I decided to go to Hardee's Charbroiled Hamburgers for lunch, with which I have recently fallen in love. (St. Valentine's Day is approaching, anyway.) Hardee's actually has decent burgers for very cheap (college students get a nice discount). I used to equate Hardee's with Burger King and Checkers Drive In (formerly Rally's), but James proved to me that it is, in fact, edible.

However, before we departed our townhouse, Cody received a call from our good friend James, who said that Andrew, his roommate; Masey, Andrew's friend; and he were about a half mile from our apartment and desired assistance. Apparently, they decided to make a trek to Shipley's Do-Nuts (hyphen included in the restaurant's title) for some trans-fatty delight, had been distracted by playing in the snow (which included inserting snow into their boots and shoving snow up their nostrils), and ended up a long distance from the restaurant (and their residence hall) and requested a lift back to the residence hall because they were numb. Now, I'm not sure if they were numb with excitement or coldness, but nevertheless they were unable to continue. So, we swung by and rescued them.

After we returned from Hardee's and feasted on our succulent morsels, Cody and I decided to fire up the old television to watch some programming. Today's selections included I Used To Be Fat on MTV and a 30-Minute Meals episode entitled "Recipe for Romance." Unfortunately, black cherry and black pepper lamb chops, risotto, and grilled baby vegetables do not fancy either of our food appetites or love appetites, so we moved on.

Inspired by I Used To Be Fat, I decided to eat a Nestlé Drumstick®: The Original Sundae Cone® and a cookie. After that, I decided to do laundry. Normally, I do laundry on Saturdays, but I have to wake up early to get in the laundry queue. James, Bryan, Cody, and I all try to do laundry on Saturdays, and since I usually have four or five loads, it helps to get a few loads out of the way. Then, I decided to work on my Natural Hazards research project about the number of tornadoes in recent years in Mississippi and a Modern U.S. History assignment on the Harlem Renaissance. I chose to write on Ethel Waters' hit song "Am I Blue?".

Having finished all my homework, I decided I needed to buy something online. I absolutely love shopping online, particularly on Amazon. Since my upgrade date for my new cell phone has yet to arrive (only eight more days!), I decided to shop for some music. According to the Amazon MP3 home page, I needed to download a new album just released a few weeks ago. It was entitled "Kings" by the Christian alternative band I Am Empire. The few tracks I've listened to are promising. But, I wonder if they'll be as epic and adventurous as I Am Legend? I wonder because if I try to describe them to people, I won't ever remember their name, instead calling them I Am Legend.

Since I don't have a proper conclusion of this post, I will warm your soul with a tear-jerking photograph.

I don't think this is UL-approved.

Without Him

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 18:40:00 +0000

Without Him I could do nothing,
Without Him I'd surely fail;
Without Him I would be drifting
Like a ship without a sail.

Jesus, O Jesus!
Do you know Him today?
Do not turn Him away.
O Jesus, O Jesus,
Without Him, how lost I would be.

Without Him I would be dying,
Without Him I'd be enslaved;
Without Him life would be hopeless,
But with Jesus, thank God, I'm saved!

Jesus, O Jesus!
Do you know Him today?
Do not turn Him away.
O Jesus, O Jesus,
Without Him, how lost I would be.

–"Without Him" by Mylon R. LeFevre

Top Quotes of Fall Semester 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Jake) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:31:00 +0000

Thanks to my Twitter account, I will now list the top quotes of this past semester.

August 30: "Go ahead and burn your rectums out. Oh wait, I mean retinas." –Dr. Charles Wax, Intro to Meteorology professor, referring to the intensity of the sun.
September 7: "I almost shed a 'mear' [man-tear]." –Bryan Snow. (Try saying "shed a 'mear'" ten times fast to see why this quote was hilarious.)
October 9: "Nothing to get naked about." –DeAundrae Clayton, referring to the Annual National Shrimp Festival in Gulf Shores, Alabama, that we attended during our Fall Break vacation to the beach.
October 9: "That one there runs like a scalded dog!" –Customer at a go kart track in Gulf Shores, referring to a particular go kart.
October 22: "Pretty white boys: pneumonia. Always remember that." –DeAundrae Clayton. (I can't quite remember what this quote was about.)
December 5: "We're all on the couch, eating Funfetti cake, and watching The Stepford Wives." –Bryan Snow, referring to the qualities of manhood valued in our apartment.