Gulf Shores 2011, Days 3-4

As I watch Madea Goes to Jail in our condo, I have decided to not blog about our final two full days in Gulf Shores. Instead, I encourage you to check out James' new blog for minute-by-minute coverage of the past two days' action. A new blog will come tomorrow as we have a six hour drive in which we will undoubtedly have something to share with the world.

James' blog: http://jimmyalang.tumblr.com

Nuclear Power Plant, Dairy Queen, Flat Hair, and Sweeney Todd: Gulf Shores 2011, Day 1

Monday, our first full day at the beach, was quite delightful. The weather was beautiful – low to mid 80s with mostly sunny skies. Here are some highlights:

• Our first item on the agenda for the day was visiting the beach. Strangely, some of us awoke at 7 am and ventured out to the shore to search for shells. Later, we came back and ate breakfast and then returned to the beach. I sat under an umbrella in a chair while everyone else built sand castles. I occasionally supervised the efforts to build the Kingdom of Gill Theme Park, complete with nuclear power plant, drainage system, welcome center and Kids Korner (an octopus-shaped building), a deep lake, and a levee to protect the land of merriment.
• We all returned to the condo to dine for lunch, then James, Andrew, and Nick returned to the beach where they frolicked in the shark-infested, algae-covered, salt-infused ocean water. Cody and I, however, decided to drive around the community and experience the finest in culinary selections. This voyage landed us at Dairy Queen in Orange Beach where we both obtained vanilla ice cream cones dipped in chocolate. Though they were quite delectable, they melted in a grand total of 14 seconds upon receipt. Luckily, we had the forethought to sit outside while partaking of this dairy delight. Later, we ventured to a less-than-ideal Rite Aid where we purchased drinks, then we drove around the area. I took Cody to the campus of Christian Life Church, a church we visited last year during Fall Break that created quite a memorable experience for us. (I won't go into that here.) Then, we drove throughout Gulf Shores and looked at several expensive condos, all while I digressed about how storm surge from a potential hurricane would wipe them all out.
• Another headline of the day was my hair escapades. In previous trips to Gulf

  

  A sample hairstyle of mine at the beach.

  Shores, a common joke is my hair, which has no defense against the salty air and gusty winds. This trip, however, I decided to prepare for my cranial indiscretions – I purchased Axe hair styling cream before leaving. I decided to try it on Monday. With Andrew's help, I styled my hair into a semi-attractive style. Within ten minutes, however, it looked as if I had had a hair transplant performed by Donald Trump.
• After we all arrived back at the condo, we decided to prepare for supper, which consisted of spaghetti and meatballs, English peas, and bread prepared by James and Nick. Andrew, Cody, and I instead watched episodes of All Worked Up on TruTV, a show that follows repossession personnel, process servers, and meter maids. It was quite delightful.
• After dinner, we watched Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Cody had never seen the movie that portrays a revengeful barber with beautiful music by Steven Sondheim, so we decided to enlighten him. After the particularly bloody final scene, Cody said, "Well, how 'bout that!"

Today, we went to beach, and we are planning on a night about town. It has begun raining here, but the weather should be nice again tomorrow.

Also, for another viewpoint of our holiday, check out James' newly-created Tumblr blog.

Osama bin Laden, Mess-Touching, and the Royal Couple: Gulf Shores 2011, Day 0

After four painful months of tests, papers, projects, and eating at Hardee's, the spring semester of my sophomore year has ceased. As is the custom, five of us have headed to Gulf Shores, Alabama, for a few days of rest, relaxation, and lunacy. We arrived last night after an eventful drive from Starkville. Here are some highlights from our journey:

• We stopped at a convenience store in Meridian, Mississippi. This sign heralded us as we entered the establishment:
  
  Yes, my friend, this Calibri-fonted notice with eight exclamation points is not joking around. Three punctuation errors isn't bad for two sentences!
• After entering Alabama, we saw a church sign that said: "The key to heaven was hung on a nail." Amen, brother.
• I am driving my mother's Toyota Highlander to give us more space for the long trip. It has a large fuel tank, but it is not unlimited, as I found out. A few miles outside of Citronelle, Alabama, my low fuel warning indicator illuminated on my dashboard. So, I asked Matilda, my Garmin GPS, where the nearest petrol station was located. After some consternation, she informed me that it was ten miles off our route in Hickville, Alabama. No, that's not the actual name, but I propose a petition to rename the municipality. By the grace of God, we were able to find a Chevron gas station as we were coasting on fumes, and we were afforded many opportunities to experience, as Andrew so kindly pointed out, "the local natives."
• Before we arrived at the gas station, we nearly committed involuntary dogslaughter when two children under the age of ten were romping with their canine companion approximately ten inches from the side of the highway that had a 55 mile-per-hour speed limit. I'm pretty sure they were barefooted.
• In close proximity to my gas pump was a family of four or so. They were in a truck that was towing a Gator-type off-road vehicle. The father was shirtless, his son was shirtless, and his baby son was running around the gas station in his Underoos. I can't remember if the father and older son were wearing shoes, but the toddler certainly was not. The father had entered the convenience store to acquire a 12-pack of Bud Light. I strongly desired to inquire if they possessed any chewing tobacco, but I was slightly fearful for my life.
• Finally, we saw a boy standing on the side of the road, shoeless, with a gaping mouth as we drove past. I guess he had never seen a Tennessee license plate before.
• After we turned off of I-10 outside of Mobile, Alabama, we were greeted with a church sign that proclaimed, "LET THE MESSIAH TOUCH YOUR MESS." No comment.
• Andrew, James, and I went to Wal-Mart to stock up on provisions for our vacation. As we were being checked out at the Speedy Checkout (though we had more than twenty items), we were informed that Osama bin Laden had expired. We raced back to the condo to observe Obama's speech to the nation. As I mentioned on Twitter, his teleprompter operator should be unemployed this morning.
• Lastly, a furniture store placard in Foley, Alabama: "KATE AND WILLIAM SHOP HERE."

Today, we are planning to spend a gaggle of time outside, as the forecast calls for temperatures in the mid 80s and mostly sunny skies. Tomorrow is scheduled to be foul, meaning our shopping day will be tomorrow. I am grateful for our little paradise, the Redneck Riviera - Gulf Shores, Alabama.