Do not read this post.

I figure it's time for a new post. I'm bound and determined to blog more frequently than every four months like I have with my previous blogs. Of course, like I mentioned in a previous post, classes tend to be a fun-sucker (thanks Anna from the modern Freaky Friday), and thus I generally do not have many things about which to blog. Lucky for you, the weekend has provided some decent material. If you're bored prior to reading this post, I would suggest you drink some caffeine, because this post sure won't make you lively. (Note that I say "caffeine" instead of "alcohol". I am one of the first to implement Mississippi State's new "Stay Dry" campaign, aimed at preventing underage people from drinking. And, I don't drink anyway. There are cooler ways to die, like the sudden reversal of gravity, spontaneous combustion, or "death by Seinfeld".) (Wow, I ramble a lot.)

So, this weekend I decided to stay in S-Town to save some gas money from driving home. While it is only about 126 (yes, 126. Not 125.) miles to Memphis, because of OPEC's deep love and admiration for Americans and our ideals, I cannot afford to drive home every weekend.

I kicked off my exhilarating weekend by rushing back to my dorm from my Introduction to Literature class (no, not Introduction to English or American Literature, just to Literature. Apparently I have no idea what literature is.). In my joyous celebratory mood, I baked my California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust BBQ [Recipe] Chicken Frozen Pizza. (I am [usually] a stickler for calling items by their proper names. Instead of "The Union," I might say the "Colvard Student Union." Or, if I am referring to the food court there, I could refer to it as the "Gaddis Hunt Commons at the Colvard Student Union." But if I say that, no one will know what I'm talking about.) It was quite delectable.

After that, I began my marathon of Glee episodes. I watched every episode that has been produced thus far (13) this weekend and, boy, did I enjoy it. This illustrates the weekend I had. Absolutely nothing happened on (or off) campus this weekend, so I had to entertain myself.

Mikki, Peter, and I went to Abner's Famous Chicken Tenders on Friday night. They, perhaps, have some of the best chicken tenders anywhere. Trust me. I am a chicken tender connoisseur; I have probably eaten 3,000 chicken tenders in my life.

Later that night, my roommate invited some friends to our room to watch Psycho, the original movie set at the Bates Motel. After that, we watched Conan O'Brien's final episode on his late-night show. Then, we watched three episodes from Season 5 of The Office.

On Saturday morning, I woke up in an industrious mood and decided to go running on the treadmill at the Sanderson Center. Though I arrived fifteen minutes early, I ended up running 2.5 miles with a time of 25:48. Yes, horrible, I know, but my pace is improving. You try running 2.5 miles after not running for six months.

I went to Subway for lunch, and Claire and I went to Chili's Bar and Grill for dinner.

On Sunday, I went to church and then went to lunch with my father. He came down to swap cars with me after the oil leak fiasco. We went to Ruby Tuesday.

Tonight, I went to University Bible Study at First Baptist Church - Starkville. I help run sound and lights for it (but it's not a big operation). Austin Dear, the brains behind the operation and Apple enthusiast, is in charge of tech world. Anyway, after the Bible Study was over, we decided to explore the attic to find a wireless router. That was quite exciting.

Well, I guess I better go now. Supposedly, I'm going to wake up at 7:30 to go running. We'll see if that happens.

Sorry for the very underwhelming post this evening, but it directly correlates to how underwhelming my weekend was. I'm now depressed. Here's a random picture to cheer me up:

Even that picture is mediocre.

Today's Picks:

• TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants. Gotta love Sunday afternoon programming.
• Food: Little Caesar's Pizza. It was free.
• Music: Pants on the Ground by General Larry Platt. It never gets old.
• Humorous Moment: The electronic lock on my dorm room door going out. It was hilarious. I'm being sarcastic.
  

No new post today due to lack of humor

Hello, blogosphere. Because of the lack of many humorous items today (after all, it is a school day), I won't be posting a full blog this evening. I will include today's events in tomorrow's posts. I will leave you with Today's Picks, of course.

Today's Picks:

• TV Show: American Idol, though I did not see it due to Priority at the Baptist Student Union this evening. My dorm-mates and I watched several auditions online, however.
• Food: Chick-Fil-A. This counts the fifth time in two weeks I have eaten at the Chick-Fil-A on campus.
• Music: Forever by Chris Brown, simply because it was in the JK Wedding Entrance Dance video on YouTube.
• Humorous Moment: I'm saving it for tomorrow, but it was pretty good. Stay tuned!
  

Sliver Platters, Nail Salons, Peanut Brittle, and Something About the Ground and Pants

Yes, I am continuing the trend of including quotes and themes from TV shows I watched during the day. This is mainly because I can't come up with any clever titles. Wouldn't you rather read that than "Monday, January 18, 2010?" Besides, Blogger has already put that right above the post.

Anyway, I shamelessly admit to you that I did watch portions of The Brady Bunch marathon today on TV Land. Yes, I had already seen these episodes (as I've already seen all of The Brady Bunch episodes). Does that make them any less fun (or campy)? Of course not.

In today's selections, Greg had the precarious job of Chairman of the Committee to Select the Next Head Cheerleader. (Put that on your résumé. Note the acute accent above the é's.) Of course, Marsha was selected as a finalist, but so was Greg's flavor-of-the-week girlfriend. When the three gentlemen on the committee voted, it resulted in a three-way tie, which left the deciding vote to Greg. Who would he vote for?!?

The ugly, terrible female, of course. Then he dumps his girlfriend. Ah, the stress of the 1970s.

Other highlights included when Tiger, the family dog, runs away to mate with a dog in the neighborhood. Sounds a lot like Tiger Woods. (Coincidence in the name?!?!?! Go ahead, you can send me my check now.) And, Jan (who always tends to screw things up) happens to accrue a $56 bill at the department store, so the sextet must go on an amateur talent TV program to attempt to win the money. Talk about suspense!

OK, so I really do like The Brady Bunch. It's just so easy to make fun of. (Forgive me for ending a sentence with a preposition.)

In other news, I returned to Starkville today after a weekend back home. The drive was easier than it normally is because I returned in my mother's Toyota Highlander. My car, a Honda Accord, is in the shop being repaired from an oil leak. Things (I accidentally just typed "thighs." I guess those could apply as well.) got quite tense on the way home on Friday afternoon. Somewhere south of Jug Fork, MS (Yes, it's real. Look it up.), I began to smell a burning scent wafting from the engine. I decided to pull off in New Albany, MS, in the parking lot of a nail salon. Take a look (man, I love Google Street View):


View Larger Map

After about ten phone calls with my father, we finally determined that my oil was low, so I added some oil. Just as I was returning the materials into my trunk, an elderly lady (probably about 60) walked up to me from the nail salon. "Now, here's some Southern hospitality!" I thought. (After all, we were next to the hospital. Haha. Subtle pun.) She said hello and asked me if I had a flat tire. I looked over to my propped-open hood for a smart-aleck moment, then told her about my troubles. (In hindsight, I wish with every fiber of my being that I told her, "Yes. I'm changing the tire under the hood. Gotta love imports.") After I finished telling her all about me being a student at Mississippi State and my trip home for the MLK weekend, she says, "Well, I am selling some peanut brittle for my church. It's really good! I made it! Here, you should try some." Thinking back to all the childhood warnings about not taking candy from strangers, I searched the small tub for the smallest piece, picked it up, and opened my mouth when she said, "Now, that doesn't have any peanuts on it. Throw that piece in the flowerbed and get you another piece." With vivid images of me lying on the shoulder of Highway 78 vomiting and writhing in pain from food poisoning thirty minutes later, I ate a piece. Lying, I told her, "Wow, that's really good!" "Well, we are selling two tubs for $3, would you like some?" Again, lying, I told her, "Oh, sorry, but I don't have any cash." She then said, "OK," and proceeds to power-walk to her idling car. I've never seen a woman that old move that fast. I then wondered if my hair was on fire or if I had a spurting artery if she would have helped me or just walked away when I didn't buy any peanut brittle. Way to be a good Christian witness.

So, (back to the main story), I arrived in Starkvegas this evening and went to Sonic Drive-In with James, a dorm-mate of mine. We came back and watched Little People, Big World (again, shamelessly) and watched various auditions online from American Idol, including Gen. Larry Platt's masterpiece "Pants on the Ground." I sincerely hope he cuts a CD.

Today's Picks:

• TV Show: The Brady Bunch and MythBusters, just because they both had marathons today
• Food: a free Chick-Fil-A Chicken Biscuit. Free food always tastes better.
• Music: acoustic version of "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K
• Humorous moment: watching my mother perform the entire head cheerleader audition piece from The Brady Bunch, words and all. She said she memorized it when it came out when she was in third grade.
  

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?

Yes, the title is the tag line from Good Burger, perhaps one of the greatest movies of the 1990s. OK, so maybe Rotten Tomatoes gave it a "Rotten" rating of 31%, but it's still in the top 20 movies in my heart. Anyway, Good Burger was on Nickelodeon this evening, so of course I watched it. This is a non-negotiable mandate. My mother could be winning millions of dollars on Deal or No Deal during the same time slot, but I would be secretly watching Good Burger. (After all, that's what DVRs are for, right?)


(Image credit: FunAdvice.com / Nickelodeon)

This movie has a very simple plot (and one that has occurred in many movies): small business fights corporate America. David fights Goliath. Susan Boyle fights Brittney Spears. And who always wins? The underdog, of course. (One exception is Mississippi State sports, but that's for another post.)

Two classic Nickelodeon stars, Kenan Thompson (of Saturday Night Live fame) and Kel Mitchell (who is not dead), are summer workers at Good Burger. Kenan's character is forced to work there to pay off damages to his teacher's car. Just as he is settling in at the counter, the nationwide chain Mondo Burger (does anyone even say "mondo" anymore?) decides to open a franchise directly across the street. They don't do too well at first, because of Kel's special sauce. Mondo Burger decides to steal the recipe and add it to their poisonous burgers. Will Kenan and Kel be able to sabotage Mondo Burger to protect the recipe and save their town's citizens from food poisoning?!

SPOILER ALERT (click and drag your mouse to view)

Of course they will. It's a Nickelodeon movie. How stupid are you?

END SPOILER ALERT

However, that's not all I did today (though it would have certainly made for a great day by itself).

Laziness, Taco Soup, Rain, and Hardwood Flooring

So, I guess this is the first post of the new year. I'm pretty glad 2009 is over. 2009 was quite a busy time for me: graduating high school, starting college, moving my life 150 miles away, and making and losing some good friends (no, they didn't die, we just grew apart). I'm looking forward to 2010 being essentially the first full year of my adult life (I turn 20 this year!) while still holding on to some childhood. I'm not really sure how that's going to happen just yet, but I'm sure it will. Don't judge me.

I am home for the first time this semester for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. No, I don't do anything special for the memorial holiday, but I do enjoy the three-day weekend. So far this weekend, I have eaten at Booya's Burrito Beach (one of my Memphis favorites; they could have the best burger I've ever eaten). That's it. I have not left the house today. I didn't shave or put on decent clothes. (I did take a shower, though!)

My dad, however, has been hard at work installing hardwood (laminate) flooring in our living room, den, and dining room. This is one of the final phases of our long-term plans to redo the entire house. In the seven years we've lived here, we've painted every room in the house, installed carpet in my parents' bedroom (because of a flood), installed built-in bookcase cabinets in our living room, bought a new washer, dryer, and dishwasher and installed them (the dishwasher also caused a flood; the fire department had to be called to our house for that one...long story), cut some trees down in the front yard, repaired cracked underground pipes for our swimming pool, built a (pre-made) shed, tore down some fencing, and repaired the garage door, in addition to other things. Prior to this installation, we has parquet flooring in our living room (that had undoubtedly been there since the house was built in 1972) and nasty carpet in the den and living room that had numerous pet stains (not from us, from previous owners). So, it was time for it to go.

Our house is in disarray right now. My dad has already (mostly) finished laying the flooring in the dining room, so the majority of the furniture is in that room right now. He's in the process of removing the old parquet floor, which is, of course, stirring up a lot of dust. Our kitchen is being protected by some old bed sheets covering the doorway, and every door in the house is closed preventing the clouds from spreading throughout the house. He's worked very hard today working on it (while taking breaks to watch the Mississippi State vs. Georgia basketball game, which we won, by the way). But, it's hard being home while he is working on it. First, we can't chill in our living room (which is where everyone usually watches TV) because the TV is covered by plastic to protect from dust. Second, I really can't play with my dog, Molly, because the den is essentially her room, and there is no floor in there. Lastly, I have to keep my room's door closed, so I really don't see anything exciting. Plus, it's raining. What else is there to do?

Tomorrow should be more exciting, however. I will be going to church in the morning and hopefully hanging out with some friends tomorrow. Then, my friend and I will be having a Glee marathon overnight, so that will be fun.

Today's Picks:

• TV Show: MythBusters (episodes I haven't seen yet)
• Music: Glee Season 1 Soundtrack
• Food: taco soup
• Humorous Moment: none to speak of so far